knittyBlog: Maybe we could stop assuming

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Maybe we could stop assuming

I'm not a militant member of any religion, but I am big on not making assumptions. Like you'd probably never congratulate someone on being pregnant just because they've got a bit of a tummy, I really wish people would stop assuming which holiday anyone else celebrates. I never wish anyone anything other than Happy Holiday. I wish people would do the same for me.

Why is this coming up today? I went to mail a package to the incredibly kind Sadie, she of the month of March in the Knitty calendar, and watched as the person behind the counter put the stamp on the right on the package. Yup. There's the original holy family. What is it doing on my package?

When she asked me if I wanted to buy xmas stamps, that's when I went didactic. I hadn't even had my coffee yet. I just said, very politely, that maybe she should ask first before assuming people celebrate any specific holiday. We had a wee chat about it, and I felt quite like a lunatic making a fuss about this, but it really is important to me.

I live in the most diverse city in Canada. Who knows WHAT the person sitting next to me on the bus celebrates? I know no one means any harm by a simple wish of "Merry Xmas", but "Happy Holiday" should mean even more, because it's inclusive. That's all I'm saying.

Be inclusive!

posted by Amy R Singer @ 8:27 AM 41 comments

Comments:

Your stamps are even cheesier than ours!

Yes yes neutral and inclusive can sometimes be a good thing. It'll save you from being roped into teaching 43 kindergartners The Dreidel Song in English. Oddly enough after three weeks of fun/torture/can't decide it still comes out sounding just like Jingle Bells.

# posted by

zib : 10:10 AM, November 22, 2005

I'm with you, Girlfriend. Be a Mench: Don't Assume!

# posted by

Rebecca : 11:51 AM, November 22, 2005

Interesting stamps you have in Canada! I've decided that this year when wished a Merry Christmas, I'm responding back "Happy Yule" or "Merry Solstice". Heh. That should really snap some heads around in the Mormon town I live near.

# posted by

Heather : 2:00 PM, November 22, 2005

The stamp on the right? It's Commander Riker!

# posted by

j. : 2:22 PM, November 22, 2005

YAY for your rant! I celebrate Christmas, because my family is Christian, I, myself, am not big into Jesus, and honestly, we're not even celebrating his birth on HIS birthday, it's Emporer Constantine's birthday... but anyway... I also celebrate Hannukah because I'm culturally jewish on one side. Why does it always have to be about CHRISTMAS!!?? Gah!

# posted by

Miriam : 2:51 PM, November 22, 2005

canada post finally figured out the Diverse issue this year.

there are Snow man postage stamps ! they even have sparkly SNOW FLAKES right on the stamps. Just the kind of thing to make you smile when it's grey outside.

# posted by

nadine : 3:34 PM, November 22, 2005

Hmmm. The problem is that you are not encouraging diversity but stamping it out. Are we all going to celebrate some generic holiday that doesn't "offend" anyone, but is absolutely meaningless?

I prefer being inclusive, and if I have any reason to think someone enjoys a holiday different than mine, I try to wish them Happy "Whatever" (Kwaanza, Solstice, Hanukkah). I certainly don't get offended if someone wishes me a Happy Hanukkah! More power to them! I'm glad they included me in their holiday.

# posted by

Laura : 3:52 PM, November 22, 2005

Hmmm. You could use the same argument to support telling strangers that "I'm praying for you" or "Jesus loves you" or "If you don't accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster as your lord and saviour, you're going straight to low-carb hell".

# posted by

j. : 4:00 PM, November 22, 2005

Hey, if I know what holiday someone celebrates, I will likely wish them a Happy Specificholiday. But I disagree -- you're not stamping out diversity when you wish someone a Happy Holiday season. You're being considerate of their unique experience. You can't possibly know everyone's preferences, background, wishes, leanings.

By wishing them a Happy MYholiday, how is that generous? It seems kind of self-reflective, really. It means you assume everyone celebrates the same thing you do. "Why, EVERYONE celebrates MYholiday!", right? We can be generic in our greeting, knowing that we're wishing well without excluding, and that embraces diversity, if you ask me.

And no, I don't get offended. I just want people to stop assuming.

If you ask me, this time of year is about being with your family, feeling cozy and safe in your home, enjoying the lights and the snow. Religion doesn't enter into it for me. Although the Flying Spaghetti Monster might be considered a deity in my house. Pass the parmesan.

# posted by

amy [Knitty] : 4:09 PM, November 22, 2005

Amy, you are so right on this. It's getting even worse here in the U.S. with some people of a certain political/religious persuasion, many of which helped to elect our current "president". Anyway, some of these people are supporting a boycott of a certain store chain because, among other things, the store chain chose to put up signs saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". Sheesh!!!

# posted by

Norah : 4:52 PM, November 22, 2005

Yep. I hear you sister! I'm Jewish and we celebrate Christnukkah and Hanumas in my house.

# posted by

Scoutj : 5:18 PM, November 22, 2005

I disagree - I celebrate Christmas, so I wish people Merry Christmas to share my joy. I'd be equally happy if they wished me a Happy TheirHoliday. What I hate is this marketing of a generic "Holiday" that has Santas and decorated trees and is Christmas in all but name. THAT's hypocrisy.

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:28 PM, November 22, 2005

Exactly how i feel Amy. Today I had to keep myself from saying something about it to some coworkers who were discussing boycotting a certain big store because they have their employees say Happy Holidays (although I don't know why I didn't say anything really)

I always wish people Happy Holidays because I don't like to make assumptions about anyone and I certainly don't want them made about me. In the area I live in, most people are of a certain religion so it is usually assumed that everyone is of that religion. Very maddening.

# posted by

Tara : 6:51 PM, November 22, 2005

Happy Festivus, for the rest of us?

Actually, I agree with anonymous up there. (Politically incorrect, I know).

# posted by

Mary : 7:21 PM, November 22, 2005

I wholeheartedly agree....so...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!

http://lileesgram.blogspot.com

# posted by

Teresa : 8:27 PM, November 22, 2005

My own Happy Holiday doesn't include santas and trees. It includes a time of year when people gather together to celebrate what's important to them. What anonymous is protesting has been created by marketing people. We don't have to embrace that.

Next person that wishes me a Merry Xmas, should I wish them a Happy Bris, just because I've just come from a new baby boy's circumcision and I'm full of joy because of the meaning of the ceremony?

Wishing something for THEM is not about ME. What I celebrate has nothing to do with it. Is all I'm saying.

# posted by

amy [Knitty] : 8:33 PM, November 22, 2005

OK, the point many commenters are missing, is that spreading "Christmas" greetings indescriminately sends an unspoken message that may, or may not be contrary to their intent. To wish a "Merry Christmas" reminds a non-Christian that Christians are the comfortable majority and have no fear, or recent history, of religious persecution. It is physically, socially, and quite politically safe in the US and Canada to proclaim one's Christianity. Non-Christians have historically been the objects of hate on major Christian holidays. Why should a non-Christian have a "Merry Christmas?" There is much hurt to be remembered. But ultimately, wishing a non-Christian "Merry Christmas" says "you are Other," "you're not an US, you're a THEM."

# posted by

kaphine : 9:31 AM, November 23, 2005

Amy,

This was one of the things that always drove me crazy, too. I'd respond by wishing the other person a Happy Chanukah, just to help them realize everyone doesn't celebrate the same thing.

At least here I don't have to worry about this issue! ;o)

# posted by

AmyS : 10:25 AM, November 23, 2005

What Kaphine said.

Though I had to laugh yesterday when my son was in a huff about the fact that we didn't get to celebrate Chanukah which he saw as completely unfair.

We told him it wasn't a holiday for people who are of Christian heritage, which made us wonder why the hell we celebrate Christmas since we're practicing FSM adherents ourselves.

And I don't like the Holy Family on anything to do with a crown corporation--too much church and state for me.

# posted by

Dr. Steph : 11:51 AM, November 23, 2005

I love that you've raised this, NZ is as diverse as Canada and it's something I think of as well.

I don't think the government of recently colonised country's (lets say the last 400 yrs) should celebrate christianity as their tradition - it's one of many. Unless, of course, they wanted to do stamps for all cultural and religions celebrations.

But I don't mind people saying Happy Christmas, Happy Diwali, or whatever they want to - it's all part of the parcel about being multi religious.

Cheers, look forward to the book!
genny

# posted by

genny : 5:11 PM, November 23, 2005

Well, you have to remember that she probably only meant the very best. That's what I try to remember everytime someone gets off the phone with "God bless!"

I send out Happy Holiday cards, myself. Got too many different, beautiful faiths amongst my friends.

# posted by

ErickaJo : 10:34 PM, November 23, 2005

Kaphine is totally correct. However well-intentioned, the effect of the spreading of Christmas-ness into every corner of existence merely reminds those of us who do not celebrate Christmas that we are not of the popular majority. Thanks!

The U.S. is supposed to be the country that celebrates diversity. Not when my children and I are consistently reminded that we don't belong. What particularly irks me are those who feel oppressed by their inability to celebrate Christmas in schools and in public places. They have every right to celebrate and decorate in their own homes and churches. What more do they want? Why must my children's public schools, my post office, and my governmental buildings also proclaim Christianity?

I think that different religions and cultures should be taught in school. How else do our young people grow up and learn about cultures and belief systems other than their own? But, teaching is not at all the same as CELEBRATING. That is the business of churches, mosques, synagogues, families, and homes.

# posted by

Beth S. : 1:44 PM, November 24, 2005

With all the marketing out there for Christmas (Santa at the mall, Christmas tree lightings, etc.) it's hard not to get sucked into "Christmas" whether you celebrate it or not. For this reason alone I'd cut some slack to those people out there whose workplaces are infiltrated with Christmas decorations at this time of year, as I'm sure your post office is.
And, considering it IS a national holiday in the Western World where you live, I also have to be politically incorrect and see nothing wrong with it. Sorry!
PS: I do agree with you about the stamps though. They do seem to assume that everyone who celebrates Christmas is doing it for religious reasons, when we all know that these days that is just not true.

# posted by

Anna : 6:36 PM, November 24, 2005

I get so many confused looks when I reply, "Thank you, but we don't celebrate Christmas." Hunh? You don't what?

I just can't stand the insidiousness of it all. I know where the grinch was coming from.

# posted by

Pamelamama : 12:29 AM, November 25, 2005

At the risk of being branded a neo-con I believe people should be able to wish whatever they please. If you think that it's unacceptable to wish someone a Merry Christmas then where does it stop? You not going to allow Muslims or Jews to celebrate their own festivals?

Happy Holidays is the expression of the lowest common denominator. That may be inclusive but it's also utterly disabling and disempowering because it doesn't allow for difference. Albeit the difference of the majority.

# posted by

JamesB : 10:26 AM, November 25, 2005

Jamesb, how does assuming I'm a Christian -- assuming EVERYONE is a Christian -- allow for difference?

# posted by

Pamelamama : 8:14 PM, November 25, 2005

Personally, I would be offended by being greeted by "Happy Holidays" because it is too generic and does not clearly reflect why that particular day is called "Christmas" to begin with.

# posted by

Lola : 8:12 AM, November 26, 2005

I'm happy if anyone wishes me a happy anything. I'm just glad to share in the happiness, wherever it comes from. There's far too little of it in the world as it is.

So if someone wishes me a Happy Anything, I reply in kind. The words don't matter a bit. It isn't about me; it's about the spirit of the season.

# posted by

Gina : 10:56 AM, November 26, 2005

I celebrate Christmas, but it isn't about anybody's birthday. I celebrate a time to spend with my family relaxing, enjoying some festive food, and exchanging gifts. We are not a religious family. In our eyes (and in the eyes of many, I think) Christmas does not hold religious significance.

# posted by

Donna : 3:48 PM, November 26, 2005

Honestly. Instead of saying or responding to anything regarding the holidays, I simply hand over whatever holiday foodstuffs I might be carrying and back away slowly. Nothing says universal looooove and happiness like fudge.

# posted by

madame_leiderhosen : 9:24 PM, November 26, 2005

The workplace in the U.S. is so difficult. Just today, someone hung a Hanukkah banner in my workplace - nothing like advertising I'm the token Jew. If I protest, it's as if I am crying sour grapes. If I go along with it, it's as if I'm putting myself on display. I wish people would reserve the holidays to their homes, friends and families. HELP! Karen W.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:21 PM, November 28, 2005

I'm a little late on this one, but I as someone who worked retail, I would always wish my customers 'Happy Holidays'. I feel it would be less offensive to wish HH than to wish a WASP Happy Kwaanza. Don't you think? Beyond that, if the person doesn't celebrate, they get a 'holiday' from work, which means they are included too. I like your stamps, at least the Holy Family refelcts all ethnicities! Nice!

# posted by

Christie : 7:34 PM, November 28, 2005

I just appreciate when anyone is wishing me happy, regardless of what they or I believe. I just say thank you and remember, to each their own.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:33 AM, November 29, 2005

One thing that I do appreciate is when someone, who Believes in Something, wishes me the Happiness or Blessings of their Faith. I don't feel as though the person is necessarily trying to push their beliefs on me--rather I feel that they are being inclusive and wishing me the best of what they believe in. To me extending that blessing somehow extends the generosity of humanity. Maybe it's a selfish act to think of ones own Faith first, but I'd rather that someone speak from their own heart rather than force out whatever the current commercially-correct, seasonally-appropriate greeting is. I mean, if you don't believe in what you're saying, save it and wish me a Happy Birthday in May instead. ;)

# posted by

emma jane : 10:57 PM, November 29, 2005

Ok, as far as stamps go, if Canada Post can't put the Nativity on stamps because it's descriminating against people of other beliefs and backgrounds, what CAN they put on them???? They can't put on hockey players because I'm not a hockey player, or birds because I'm not a bird. What about the Rememberance Day Quarter? Should they not have printed those off because the majority of Canadians aren't World War II vets, and aren't even in the army? I dare say NO!!! It's ludicrous. That's what it is. I say, stop bickering about a stamp or what people say during the winter. Should I begin saying to people, "Hope your Winter goes as you plan!" just in case they aren't happy people? Maybe they don't even celebrate. This argument is so dumb it makes me laugh. Last point: Check your calendar, and last years, and the year before, etc, etc. Keep going. Now look at December. What ***National Holiday*** does it say? Oh, looky there, it says Christmas. That's right. Christianity is part of Canadian history and it's part of our country now. God Bless you all and have a Merry Christmas!

mysta02@hotmail.com

# posted by

mysta02 : 1:20 AM, December 03, 2005

My mother just called me tonight, all in a huff about how "they are trying to do away with christmas!" She must be watching some Fox type channel, since she was repeating things as if they were lines she was rehearsing. I had to assure her, "Ma, xmas is not under attack. It is still the absolute status quo and so are you. Chill out". Amazing how terribly threatened the christian status quo get by the simple phrase, "Happy Holidays", as if asking for neutrality is akin to taking away someone's rights to celebrate at home as they please. Such childish paranoia.

# posted by

Anonymous : 3:14 AM, December 03, 2005

I would be tickled with delight if someone wished me Happy (insert less common celebrated holiday here). THAT would actually put me in the holiday spirit...of a world where peace reigns almost everywhere for just a few hours and people who are luck enough to have them are sharing their homes and food and laughter with others.

As for the stamps...Canada Post *sells* stamps...so they sell the designs that will sell the best in a country dominated by Christianity. However, don't put that stamp on my parcel, please. This customer would prefer something less religiously symbolic. ~jacquiebean~

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:53 AM, December 07, 2005

Kaphine, thank you. I too am part of the minority that does not celebrate Christmas. I've been told to go back to where I came from, (4th generation US citizen here!) I've been told not to to mention my religion, I've been told that I am asking for a special privilege to ask for a non-Christian display along with the nativity scene posted every year on the town square.

I've had people call me anti-semitic things, I've dealt with swastika vandalism caused by classmates. I do not think it is political correctness to ask everyone to respect other people's religions. I respect Christianity. Why can't Christians acknowledge that--guess what--they are the majority here, but that respecting diversity is a good thing and that all those non-Christian US and Canadian citizens are allowed to observe their religions in peace..I would flip out about having a Christmas stamp on my mail. I don't celebrate Christmas and according to my last reading of the constitution, that's ok. Stepping off of soap box now.

# posted by

Joanne : 6:07 PM, December 08, 2005

Here's the problem as I see it: Christmas is celebrated by those who celebrate Christ's birth and those who are secular. Because I am a Christian and believe in Jesus, it irks me to see people spell the holiday xmas or krysmas or the like. I think seculars should have a different name for their version of Christmas, and it not be perverted like xmas, since Christmas is a RELIGIOUS holiday and is about Christ's birth.

America is about diversity, yes. America was also built on Christian fundamentals and is the reason why we have Christmas en mass. It doesn't lessen any of the other religions practiced in the contry by any means. If I went to India, I would not get pissy because someone didn't acknowledge my religion and wish me a Merry Christmas. Why? Because that Hindu does not believe in Jesus as I do.

This would settle the issue Beth had about her kids having Christmas shoved down their throats and when her family doesn't celebrate Christmas. Or she should just send her kids to a school of her religious affiliation. After all, it is a PUBLIC school.

The only way around the issue is to wear a pin that says "I'm a Christian" or "I'm a Jew" or "I'm an atheist" or "I'm agnostic or "I'm (insert religion here)".

Personally, if someone wished me a "Happy Notmyholiday" I wouldn't get preachy and start yelling about how I celebrate Christmas and not another holiday. I let it run off my back like a duck. Why? Because we ARE a diverse country and we don't have pins that say "I'm a Christian".

Why not just wish everyone a Happy New Year instead of a holiday? New Years is a celebration of a date, not a religious affiliation. I think it's high time we stop being babies about this and suck it up.

# posted by

Lisa : 3:22 PM, December 21, 2005

New Years is celebrated on different days by other cultures. Even the Ukrainians celebrate New Years on a different day, and lets not get started on Chinese New Year!

# posted by

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# posted by

Anonymous : 10:49 AM, October 28, 2009

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Maybe we could stop assuming

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